A Mother's Prayer
by Avalon's Moon
Summary: After months of waiting and a difficult labor, Loki finally has their baby in his arms. His and Thor's firstborn, a son. He's overjoyed, until he realizes that his child bears the marks of a past Loki would rather die than remember, much less have it stare at his from his son's face. And how will Thor react?


So...yeah, I found another fandom to obsess over. This is my first published story for Thor, or Avengers period. I hope I did these amazing characters justice.

Warnings: Mpreg (w/ birth scene), incest (kind of, really depends on how you define it), and Loki feels (all of the Loki feels)

I know there isn't much back-story given in the text so I'll give that now. This story ignores Thor: The Dark World, and starts around a year, maybe more, after the end of Avengers when Loki is put in the Asgard prison. Basically he and Thor developed a relationship while he was in prison and wound up pregnant. Thor pulled some strings, because kings can do that kind of thing, and Loki was moved to a private room to have the kid. This is him having the kid

Also, Frigga is alive, Odin is dead, and Thor is king. Because I said so.

I'm considering writing a prequel to explain how we got to this point, and/or a sequel to see where it goes, but this is what I have so far. Please tell me what you think! Questions, comments, compliments and criticisms are all welcome in reviews!

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A Mother's Prayer

Loki had tears in his eyes as his head hit the bed again, and heaved in a breath as the last pains of the contraction ebbed from his body. That breath came out something like a sob when he realized that another was still to come. He couldn't do this. He'd been in labor for nearly two days and nevermind that this was the final stretch, he _just_ _couldn't_ _do_ _it_ anymore. Exhausted didn't even come close. He longed for something so blissful as exhaustion.

"Loki, come on. Just a few more minutes and this will be over," Loki whined pitifully at his mother's words, wanting nothing more than to curl up and sleep for days. But when the next contraction hit him he was thrown forward by instinct, screaming in pain and frustration as he gripped the arm the Frigga had braced across his chest and pushed with all his strength. Tears were flowing freely when the contraction ended, and Loki shook his head weakly, clinging to Frigga.

"Mother, I can't!" he sobbed. "I can't!"

"Yes, you can, Loki," her voice was soft, but no less commanding. "Just one more and you'll have your baby in your arms. Just one more, I promise."

Loki whined again, sobbing once more when the felt the next contraction begin, but nevertheless bearing down. He gritted his teeth so hard that for a moment he worried they would shatter in his attempts to keep from screaming again. When he hit the bed a final time, he gasped for air. His body was shaking now from overexertion and his eyes closed as his head pounded. But despite everything, a smile broke out on his face when he heard his baby start to cry. He forced his eyes open after a moment and gazed up at Frigga, who kissed his forehead, wiping away the tears and sweat that had gathered on his face and neck.

"Congratulations, Loki," her smile matched his. "You have a son." Instantly Loki's tears were those of joy instead of pain and fatigue. He had a son.

He allowed Frigga to help him sit up a little, leaning back against some pillows as he watched his son being washed and dressed on the other side of the room. His eyes didn't leave the boy for a moment, taking in every detail he could even as Frigga helped clean him up a little and coaxed him to drink some water. The baby had black hair, just like Loki, and he looked small, but certainly not weak as he squirmed and fussed in the nurses' care.

"When will Thor be here?"

"Once we have made sure that you and the baby are alright, he will be allowed in," Frigga smiled. "I'm sure he's pacing in his chambers, just waiting for the word to come." Loki smiled a little at the image.

"I still don't understand why he couldn't be here…"

"It's simply traditional," Frigga sighed. "Men are always kept away during the birth of a child."

"Unless of course a man is the one giving birth…" Loki shook his head and Frigga chuckled.

"It does seem silly, doesn't it?" She sighed, kissing Loki's forehead again. "I'm so proud of you, my son." Loki smiled, closing his eyes for a moment. He wanted to sleep, desperately wanted to sleep, but even more desperately he wanted to hold his baby.

It seemed to take an eternity for the nurses to finish taking care of him, but Loki gave a delicate smile when the now sleeping child was finally presented to him. He took the boy in his arms, carefully obeying Frigga's advice on how to hold him.

When he finally had a closer look at the baby's face, his heart stopped.

The baby had Loki's pale, pale skin, but it was…marred somehow…with raised patterns on his forehead and along his cheekbones, even the backs of his tiny hands, far too even and symmetrical to be normal birth defects. Loki was about to turn to Frigga to ask what was wrong when it hit him like a blow to the head.

They were jotunn markings. His son had jotunn markings.

Loki covered his mouth with his free hand as tears began to flow anew. Tears of grief.

"Oh what have I done to you, my precious boy?" Loki gasped, rubbing his thumb along the ridges of the baby's forehead. He curled up around his baby, protecting him from judgmental eyes. He should have known. He should never have allowed it to come to this… His voice was barely above a whisper now. "How could I have so carelessly cursed you with this?"

"Loki…" Frigga didn't know what to make of Loki's words, but he didn't seem to hear her in any case.

"I'm sorry, my son," Loki whispered. "I'm so sorry." Then everything went black.

xxxxxx

When Loki awoke, the first thing he saw was Thor sitting next to him on the bed.

"Hello, my love," Thor said softly, "Are you feeling better?"

Loki just shrugged, curling up tighter on the bed. He didn't want to think about where his baby was. Thor probably couldn't have even stood to look at the child…a monster. For all Loki knew, he'd already had the boy taken away. He felt his heart growing cold. Thor would break the news softly, some lie about the baby not having survived…

"You fainted just a few minutes after giving birth," Thor offered, reminding him, coaxing him to respond. "Mother said you were probably just exhausted from the strain of labor, so we let you sleep all day." He nodded to the window, indicating the darkness outside. Loki didn't respond, trying to keep from crying. It was hopeless. Within moments there were tears running down his cheeks.

"Where is he?" he choked out, preparing himself to believe the lie.

"In his cradle, sound asleep." Loki whipped his head around to look at Thor, who only looked concerned. "What's the matter, love? Why are you crying?"

Loki could only stare at Thor for a moment before pushing himself up, frantically trying to locate the cradle. He found it across the room, and barely managed to breath. His baby was here. He could see him swathed in a pale blue blanket.

"You…you kept him…"

"What do you mean? Of course I kept him, he's our son." Thor cupped Loki's face, turning him back so they were eye to eye. "Loki, what is wrong?" Loki shook his head, closing his eyes as more tears slipped down.

"Didn't you see them?" his voice broke as he said it.

"See what?"

"The markings!" Loki's voice raised nearly an octave, but it was back to a whisper within a moment. "He has jotunn markings, Thor…"

"What of them?"

Loki could only stare for a moment before pushing Thor's hand away and covering his face. "He has the mark of a monster. I've passed my curse onto my son."

Thor sighed. "Mother told me that just before you fainted you were muttering things that didn't make sense. Something about a curse, and you were apologizing. Is this what you were talking about?"

Loki nodded. "I should have known…I should never have had a child," he buried his face in his hands. "What can a monster create but monsters?"

There was silence between them for a moment and Loki waited for Thor to say something, but they were both cut off when they heard soft noises from the cradle. Not crying, just cooing and gentle fussing as the baby sought attention. Thor was up instantly, crossing the room to carefully lift the child out of the crib. Thor could have held the tiny baby in just his two hands, but adjusted him so he was close to that broad chest, keeping him warm. Loki watched as the baby quieted down, seeming content in Thor's arms.

"That's better, isn't it?" Loki's eyes widened as he realized that Thor was speaking to the baby. "We woke you up, didn't we, with all our talking? Terribly rude of us, I know."

"You…" Loki didn't know where to begin. Thor just smiled.

"Did you think I wouldn't love him just because of one little feature?"

"I don't know…." Loki murmured, but nodded after a moment, his face in his hands again. "I thought he'd be repulsive to you."

"You don't need to worry about that." Loki could hear the smile on Thor's face and it broke his heart to think it might be false. "No one will ever consider him repulsive."

"That won't be true…you know it" he sighed, pulling his knees up to his chest, starting to ramble again. "He will be loved as your son, but hated as mine. No one will be able to accept the bastard child of—"

"Loki." And Loki had to look up in surprise because Thor's voice was suddenly closer. He found the other man sitting on the bed, right in front of him. "Loki, look at our son." Loki pointedly kept his still watering eyes on Thor's face and away from the infant. All he wanted was to hold the boy close, care for him, protect him, but it would only hurt more to love a child that should hate him for everything he'd done. Thor sighed. "Loki, please look at him." Loki felt something inside him break at the near pleading in Thor's voice. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply as he prepared himself, before tipping his gaze down to the baby. What he saw caused his mouth to fall open.

His son was staring back at him with wide eyes, the exact color of pure, dark amethyst. Loki had never seen the like and was instantly captivated, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth. "By the gods…" he whispered. He tried to look up at Thor, but couldn't pull his eyes away from his child. The baby just looked back at him, squirming around a bit. Loki noticed he'd managed to work his arms out of the tightly wrapped blanket, and seemed to be trying to do the same with his feet. Loki had to laugh a little, placing his hand on Thor's arm so he could brush the back of a finger lightly against the baby's cheek.

Thor smiled. "You see? He's beautiful, perfectly beautiful." Loki didn't make a sound, reaching to run his fingers over the baby's dark hair.

"But where did those eyes come from?"

Thor chuckled as he watched Loki. "I believe it's because that is the color you get when you combine the colors of our eyes."

Loki shook his head. "Thor, blue and green does not make—"

"Your eyes are not naturally green, Loki."

Loki flicked his gaze up to Thor's, watching him for a moment before the realization set in. "Blue and…red…" he murmured. Thor nodded.

"They make a beautiful combination, don't they?" Loki had to nod after a moment, a smile threatening at the corners of his mouth.

"Yes," he whispered. "Yes they do." He looked back to the baby, who after a moment began to fuss, like he might start to cry. At once Loki was reaching to hold the child and Thor gave him over willingly.

"He's probably hungry again," Thor sighed, stroking the baby's hair to try and soothe him. Loki nodded, feeling his chest ache as his son began to cry louder. With some help from Thor, he quickly untied the lacings on his shirt, moving it out of the way and adjusting the baby so he could nurse. The boy took to suckling at Loki's chest easily, closing his eyes in contentment as he snuggled closer. Thor smiled.

"It's a good thing he has you for this now. He absolutely hated having to drink from a bottle." Thor chuckled at the memory. "He kept spitting it out and wouldn't stop crying. It took us ages before he finally gave in and drank a proper amount."

Loki smiled a little, letting the baby grip his finger lightly. "You could have woken me up for this."

"It was only once and mother thought it would be better to just let you rest. She was worried about you."

"I'm not surprised," Loki sighed, tracing his fingertip over the ridges on the back of the baby's hand. "He won't look like the other children," he murmured, unable to help remembering lonely scenes from his own childhood. "He'll be different, an outsider."

"Then maybe we'll have to provide him with some brothers and sisters, so he won't be alone." Loki sent Thor a sharp, questioning look, but he received only a gentle smile in return. "I mean that, Loki," Thor said softly, looking down at the baby again. "I'll love every child you give me. I don't care if they have these markings." He laughed softly. "By the nine realms I don't care if some of them turn out blue!" Loki couldn't help but laugh at that too, leaning his head against Thor's shoulder. The other man kissed his hair, slipping his arms around Loki. "I'll love every one of our children, no matter what they look like. And I know they'll all be beautiful, just like their mother."

Loki smiled, huffing as tears came into his eyes again. He shook his head as he wiped them away. "I thought the mood swings were supposed to stop after I had the child."

Thor chuckled softly. "It's been a long day. You have every right to be emotional." Loki shook his head as he laughed too, looking up at Thor.

"Thank you," he murmured, closing his eyes to graciously accept a kiss to his forehead. Thor's words were comforting, even if they could not erase all of his worries.

"You're welcome," Thor replied, smiling. Loki tried to smile back, but sighed.

"There's still the problem of how he'll be accepted by others…" Thor groaned, burying his face in Loki's shoulder.

"Always more problems with you," he chuckled. "Can't you just be happy?"

"I'm being realistic, Thor," Loki huffed. "My position is tenuous enough, and he's my son as much as he is yours. What does that make him?"

"It makes him the son of a prince and a king," Thor smiled.

"The _illegitimate_ son of a _disowned_ prince, and a king." Loki sighed.

"Odin never disowned you."

"He threw me into a prison cell," Loki frowned, leaning back against the headboard. "I think his actions say enough, even if he never put it in writing."

"Perhaps it seems that way to you, but legally that it not the case." Loki could have slapped Thor for the way he was still smiling. "As Odin's son you are still next in line for the throne."

"I am _not_ his son."

"Fine. As Odin's adopted son, you are still next in line for the throne." Loki sent Thor a look, but Thor just raised an eyebrow and returned his gaze. "Happy?"

Loki just rolled his eyes. "If you say so." Instantly Thor's smile was back and Loki just shook his head.

"So you see? He is entirely of royal blood. There is nothing that can be disputed about his position here as my son."

"He's still your illegitimate son."

"Well that won't be a problem if you marry me."

Loki's eyes widened and he stared at Thor. His mouth opened, but nothing came out. Thor couldn't help laughing a little.

"I think that's the first time I've ever rendered you speechless."

"If this is some cruel jest I will not forgive you." Loki was very pleased with the shocked reaction that got.

"Of course it is not a jest," Thor's arms tightened momentarily around Loki. "I mean that. I will marry you."

"How?"

Thor looked confused. "Well, as I understand it, we can just get a priest or priestess to conduct the ceremony—"

"Thor!" Loki hissed. He sighed as the baby finished nursing and brought him up to rest against his shoulder, patting his back lightly. Once the infant had released the air in his stomach, Loki settled the boy in his arms again and looked back to Thor. "I meant how do you plan on justifying our marriage to the rest of the realm? You may have forgiven me, but the rest of Asgard has not." There was also the fact that they were technically brothers, but it was only through adoption…and quite honestly stranger matches had been made before.

"That will change," Thor kissed Loki's cheek. "Especially when they see how you dote on the lovely baby you've given me."

Loki sighed. "I know you believe that."

"And I hope you will see that I am right in time," Thor smiled. "So will you marry me?"

Loki rolled his eyes, smiling a little as well but keeping his gaze on their baby. "I don't know. Do you have anything to symbolize this proposal?"

"We have our baby, is that not symbol enough?"

Loki laughed, looking up at Thor. "Just because I am your brother and the mother of your child does not mean that I will accept a lackluster marriage proposal from you. You had better get me a proper betrothal piece."

Thor smiled back. "And when I do that, what will your answer be?"

"I really should make you wait and find out," Loki sighed dramatically. "But I suppose you're trustworthy enough to know in advance."

"Well?"

Loki shook his head as he laughed again. "My answer is yes, you fool."

At once Thor was kissing him and Loki happily kissed back, only pulling away when the baby squirmed in his arms and fussed a bit, vying for their attention. "Alright, little one, no need for that." Loki chuckled, adjusting the blanket to cover the boy a little more. He'd nearly kicked his way out of it by now.

"Evidently he's about as bothered by the cold as you are," Thor smiled. Loki nodded, trying not to fret over the implications of that statement. He would have to start accepting this, for the sake of his son more than anything else. He opened his mouth to speak, then paused, swallowing his reluctance before turning to Thor.

"I just want you to know, I'm not marrying you out of a desire for power," he spoke softly, nervously. "Quite honestly, when I first told you I was pregnant, I was preparing myself to be exiled in order to raise him in secret, because I thought that would be safest for us all. I have no more ambition to be Asgard's king; our son took that out of me, though I will do my best at your side. I'm marrying you to keep him safe, so he'll have a good life." He hesitated. "And because I love you."

"I love you, too," Thor smiled softly as he nodded. "And I already believed that about you, but thank you for telling me. I think I will need you in order to be a good king. I'm a warrior, I always have been and that's how I will always think. You're the intellectual, the diplomat, just like mother. She helps me now, but when she is no longer with us I will still need someone to rely on. And I want that person to be you."

"I will happily be there for you." Loki grinned. "The Norns know what would become of this realm otherwise."

Thor laughed. "You're probably right." He kissed Loki again before looking down at the boy in his arms. "You know, my heir will need a name."

Loki chuckled and nodded. "Did you have anything in mind?"

"Well I had some time to think while you were sleeping away the day," Thor smirked at the amused glare that earned from Loki. "And I was thinking Svarti, because of his black hair, and those dark eyes."

Loki smiled, watching the baby's face as he nodded. "Svarti. It's perfect."

"I'm glad you think so," Thor kissed Loki's forehead gently, before looking back to their son. "Welcome to the world, Svarti, soon to be prince of Asgard." Loki smiled, brushing his fingers through the boy's dark hair. Svarti's gaze flicked back and forth between them both before finally those violet eyes settled on Loki. And Loki had to smile as, for the first time, he let himself feel all the love for his baby that he'd been fighting and fearing, let it swell and bloom in his chest until he thought his heart would burst.

"Welcome to the world, my precious son," he whispered. He lifted Svarti up a little so he could kiss his forehead, speaking his next words like a prayer, right against the baby's skin. "May you know nothing but peace and happiness through all your long life."


End file.
